The Ventura Gem & Mineral Society, Inc. (VGMS)
Lighter Side 1996 Archive.
August.
THE DEALER AND THE ROCKHOUND,
by Carol Anderson.
(Parody on Mary Hewitt's "The Spider and the Fly".)
Page 1.
"Will you come into my market?"
Said the dealer to the rockhound.
"It's the prettiest little market
Of the cities all around.
The way into my market
Is through a swinging door--
And I have gorgeous specimens
In cabinets on the floor."
"Oh, no, no!" cried the rockhound,
"To ask me is in vain
If I go through your swinging door
I'll spend too much again."
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"I'm sure you must be weary
Of digging in the ground.
Why not hunt the easy way?"
He asked the fair rockhound.
"There are many treasures here;
Great specimens you'll find.
You may just look around, you know,
Be sure I will not mind."
"Oh, no, no," cried the rockhound,
"For I've often heard it said
One never leaves without a buy
And one's pocketbook is bled."
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Said the cunning dealer to his prey,
"Dear member, what shall I do
To prove that your best interests
Are what I owe to you?
I have within my rock store
Some fossils that are nice--
Some micromounts and booklets
To fill your life with spice."
"Oh, no, no!" exclaimed the rockhound,
"Kind, Sir, that cannot be;
I've heard what's in your market
And temptations not for me."
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"Good connoisseur," the dealer said,
"You're smart and you are wise.
Discriminating is your taste:
Come see with your own eyes.
I have some perfect crystals
Upon my glassed-in shelf;
If you'll step in one moment, dear,
You can judge them for yourself."
"I thank you, Mr. Man," she said,
"For all you're offering me.
I'm telling you goodbye, though,
Because I won't buy, you see." |
Page 2.
The dealer turned him round about
And went into his store,
For well he knew the rockhound
Would soon look back some more.
So he set his finest specimens
Beside a window clear--
He knew she'd look within again
Because she lingered near.
He soon went out the swinging door
And enticingly did say,
"Come hither, hither, rockhound,
You need not buy today. |
Such gorgeous rings upon your hands.
You faceted the stones?
The cabochon upon your breast,
Is better than my own.
The geodes on your shelves at home
I'm sure will rival mine.
Your ruby lips and emerald eyes
My gemstones will outshine.
So come within my store, you're safe!
My wares you will not buy."
He was a cunning dealer,
He caught her on the sly. |
His words enticed her through the door
Into his market room--
He blocked her exit very fast
And led her to her doom.
And now, you other rockhounds,
Who may these verses read--
When someone says you will not buy
I pray you ne'er give heed
To clever dealer's fancy words.
Don't enter in his den,
Because, of course, you won't resist,
Like her, you'll buy and buy again! |
Via The Rock Tablet, Fall 1985,
Contributed by Kathryn Davis. |
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