The Ventura Gem & Mineral Society, Inc. (VGMS)

Lighter Side 1997 Archive.

Table of Contents.

1. MARCH - "WHOSE JOB IS IT?",
2. APRIL - TODAY I WILL COMMIT ONE RANDOM ACT OF SENSELESS KINDNESS,
3. MAY - I AM A PEARL,
4. JULY - YOU DON'T MEAN IT,
5. JULY - IT CAME TO PASS,
6. AUGUST - While driving in,
7. OCTOBER/NOVEMBER - WHAT ARE SENIORS WORTH,
8. DECEMBER - Frazzled.

March.

"WHOSE JOB IS IT?"
     This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
     There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!!
          Contributed by Inez Shakman.

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April.

TODAY I WILL COMMIT ONE RANDOM ACT OF SENSELESS KINDNESS.
     I saw the above quotation on a T-shirt recently. The wearer reported the following: A few years ago professor Chuck Wall from Bakersfield college gave his students a class assignment to commit a random act of kindness and report back what they did and the reaction to their deed.
     The quotation caught on and spread rapidly over the country, the shirt owner reported. In late 1996 or early 1997 a law was proposed by Congress in Washington, DC to have a Kindness Week each year. The proposition passed the House, but is lost in committee in the Senate.
          Contributed by Florence Meisenheimer.

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May.

I AM A PEARL.

I am the first known gem of the world.
I am revered in the Bible and other sacred books as a precious and beautiful possession.
I am the only gem which attains a perfection from the sea.
I am the symbol of health and longevity.
I am the kiss of the moon on the sea.
I am the memory of the angel's tear.
I am the symbol of fashion for all women.
I am the Queen of Gems.
I am a Pearl.

     From Pomona Rock Hounds Bark 6/95,
     Via Gems of the Foothills - 6/95.

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July.

YOU DON'T MEAN IT!!
     Paul Revere's apprentices, during the cold winter days working in an unheated shop, donned their winter underwear with the first chill of fall and neither removed nor washed it until the weather improved. Over this period of time, the daily dust of silver accumulated in the fibers of the material. In the spring the heavy underwear was burned for many reasons, and the silver reclaimed. So it is said, this is how we got the term: LONG JOHN SILVER.
          From the Trilobite,
          Via Pegmatite - 1/92,
          Amador Nugget - 5/97,
          Rocky Review 6/97.

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IT CAME TO PASS...
     An elderly gentleman in the church had little formal education, but spent a lot of time with the Bible and was always finding things in the Scriptures that others missed.

     At one service, the pastor asked those in the congregation for their favorite verses from the Bible. When it was the man's turn, he stated his favorite verse was, "And it came to pass..."

     All were puzzled, so the pastor asked if he would explain his selection a bit further.

     The old gentleman responded, "When trouble comes and I don't know what to do, I take heart that the Bible never says, 'And it came to stay', but it is chock full of places where it says, 'And it came to pass.'"

          Hillsville Christian Church,
          Hillsville, VA.

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August.

While driving in Pennsylvania, the Graham family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step on exhaust."

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October/November.

WHAT ARE SENIORS WORTH?

We are worth a fortune!!!!!!

Remember old folks are worth a fortune - with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet and gas in their stomachs. I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life - frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal!

I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Next: Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

P.S. The Preacher came to call the other day and he said that at my age I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him. "Oh I do, all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement, I ask myself now what am I here after??"

     Via The Petrified Log,
     February 1996.

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December.

Holiday Season Frazzles.

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